Get Along

I don’t know if grammar is taught in school anymore. Maybe it has gone the way of Latin, which also is a curriculum course of bygone eras.

I never liked grammar. Not that it was too hard or difficult, but rather it wasn’t the language I spoke. Being married to a former subject of the Queen, who found her rebellious ways and abdicated her English loyalty to become a naturalized U.S. citizen while she was in college, I have been reminded throughout the years that mine is NOT the Queen’s English.

Mine is more chattahooglish. But, thanks to Ms. Claudia Malleson, I did learn the parts of speech, including what intransitive verbs were. Call my grammar lazy; just because I don’t USE the English language properly doesn’t mean I don’t KNOW the English language.

An example of an intransitive verb is two words used together, such as: “get along”.

Those words remind me of Woody Guthrie’s “Whoopee ti yi yo, get along little doggie, it’s your misfortune and none of my own.”

Southeastern Conference Commissioner Mike Slive has changed that up a little. He has informed the head football coaches, who are vacationing (cough, cough) I mean meeting in Destin, Florida this week, that he expects them to tone down their rhetoric toward one another, and just “get along”. According to Slive, the back and forth vicious idioms between coaches are a a misfortune to the conference AND to everyone involved. Whoopie ti yi yo.

The Reverend Houston Nutt, an evangelist of sorts and the head Ole Miss-erable Rebel, said of Slive’s message to the coaches who were meeting in conclave, “He brought it today….he came with it today….I thought he was pretty good.” Sounds like Reverend Nutt was ready to pass the plate after Slive’s sermon. Not that a plate needed passing, considering the CBS/ESPN deal. Can I get an “Amen!” Reverend Nutt?

I suspect Coach Kiffin was sitting on the back pew doodling on his bulletin and shooting spitballs at the Ole Ball Coach, and I’m sure one of the deacons had to remind mad-hatter Les Miles to remove his cap while in church. Saint Richt never saw any of this, as his head was bowed and his eyes were shut in reverence.

Saban probably took a page out of Napolean’s book and put two cushions in his seat so that he would look as tall as the other coaches. That buzzing noise? That’s just Rich Brooks snoring in the back. Petrino wanted to see a fight in church, while Urban Meyer was busy texting the Florida Lettermen’s Club to find out if they had received their tickets in Section C.

Afterwards, did they sit around and sing KumBaYa and roast marshmallows on the Destin beach? Or maybe sing Sister Sledge’s “We are Family”?

Nah. Probably Not.

After all….what extended family that comes together for a week at the beach “gets along?” Especially when so many of the cousins are dysfunctional.

Chizik probably just shook his head saying to himself…”just get me back to Lee County.”

WJLaneSR