Sponge Bob's Neighbor

Living in a house shaped like an Easter Island Moai Head, Squidward is the narcissistic neighbor of Sponge Bob. He works as a cashier at the Krusty Krab, a job he thoroughly dislikes. Squidward could be described as a malcontent, a delusional egotist who displays an unjustly air of superiority. Although Sponge Bob and Patrick (the pink starfish who lives under a rock) consider Squidward their friend, the feeling is anything but mutual. An ambiguous character, one is never sure if the six tentacled cephalopod is a squid or an octopus.

The voice for the clarinet playing Squidward is Rodger Bumpass. Bumpass, whose voice acting credits include “The Jetsons” ( a cartoon that is more MY generation than “SpongeBob SquarePants”), is the brother-in-law of Ben Stiller. Bumpass is married to Ben’s sister, Amy Stiller. Bumpass enjoys riding a recumbent bicycle when he visits Alma Mater which is located in his childhood hometown. As an in-joke by the producers of the “SpongeBob SquarePants Movie”, Squidward does too.

Bumpass is loyal supporter of his Alma Mater. Although the war cry was “Go Indians” when he was a student, in the fall of 2008 the mascot was changed to the “Red Wolves”. The “Indians” mascot was used to honor Osage Nation that inhabited the area in the 1800’s. However, due to outside pressure claiming that the usage of “Indians” was racist and bigoted, the school retired their mascot on February 28, 2008 during the last basketball game of the season. There was a groundswell of support amongst students to call themselves “The Squidwards” in honor of their famous alumnus. Never taking this seriously, the school officially became the “Red Wolves” of Arkansas State University.

The scarlet and black Arkansas State Red Wolves are in the Sun Belt Conference. Other schools in this conference include Troy, Louisiana Monroe, Western Kentucky, Louisiana Lafayette, and Florida Atlantic University. Not only do the Red Wolves have conference affiliation in common with these other schools, they also have opponents in common. Each of these Sun Belt Conference schools are scheduled to play at least one Southeastern Conference school during the 2010 football season. Arkansas State opens their season with Auburn.

The Red Wolves have a new offensive coordinator this year, and his name is Hugh Freeze. His is a name that may be familiar to Southeastern Conference fans as Freeze was the interim head coach at the University of Mississippi in 2007. Freeze, who was 20-5 over the last two years at Lambuth University, took the offensive helm at ASU on February 26, 2010. During the past half decade, Freeze’s offense averaged 465 yards per game, and over 40 points per game. He is both a student and teacher of “up-tempo, wide-open spread offense.” His teams have averaged 50 passing plays per game during the past 3 years. Opposing defensive coordinators have called his schemes “confusing and ambiguous, very hard to figure out”.

Sounds a bit like Squidward. Here’s hoping Auburn can get into his Moai Head.

‘Til next time,

WJLaneSr